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Chrysalis

by Samuel Kinsella

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1.
Lotus 03:13
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deep in the dreams i've had all my life swimming out the stream with the tide as another lifetime drifts away did i mourn the loss of your eye? and did i deserve your loving light? brighter day, finally alright if this is how it feels to fly should i hide my face when i (need to) cry? when the earth stands still and only you remain then i'll know i'm satisfied come, into my arms lay your weight on mine rest and be my light
2.
Prism 03:40
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3.
Venice 04:13
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(all in slow) in venice there's nothing else
4.
I'm On My Way 03:00
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your stage in life thrown by the wind when you feel the walls closing in i’m on my way it’s all coming back now i don’t want to fade but sometimes i can’t help it if the scars they left still haven’t healed and it seems that’s all that you feel i’m on my way it’s all coming back now i don’t want to fade but sometimes i can’t help it we got what we wanted but never what we needed if this is my calling i never want to stop it i’m on my way it’s all coming back now i don’t want to fade but sometimes i can’t help it
5.
Chelsea 02:25
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it’s what you want not what you need you know it’s hard to say i’m used to the pain hey, are you on the train? i know it’s not an accident (rain) if i were one to stray away never to stay, how would it weigh on you…
6.
Not One Lifetime 03:08
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i’m too late today the empress finding your face i know there, the sight of your hair, wishin we’d all fly away not in life was i overcome by the weight of the lie if this was to stay~ decided this was your fate i know there, your vacant despair wishin you’d all fade away i’m in disarray unraveled, left to decay i know there, with time left to spare weepin till the break of day not one lifetime was i owed but i’m on the brink of the lie that “there’s another way out” “there’s another way out” “there’s another way out” “there’s another way out”
7.
Chrysalis 03:08
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when i saw the cold laid down for warmer days did i dream what's lost was found through turns of phrase? i took what i needed and i made the rest with all that i’m given i’m doing my best and what i make of this all in chrysalis all in chrysalis the face of my oldest friend as reverie it’s nothing i can’t defend but days repeat was all of my waiting just thrown down the drain if nothing is paid for let’s do it again in what we make of this all in chrysalis all in chrysalis
8.
Do You See It Too? 04:19
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but there’s nothing keeping you from dying nothin’ on the road sayin’ what you owe there’s always someone lookin’ out out for their own savin’ you a home so this is everything i needed and who i was missin’ (now it’s alright) (i’ll be alright) (if we’re alright) all this time (then i’ll stay until i die) stayin’ by my side
9.
Neverland 03:36
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10.
Voicemails to Myself 04:11
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i never saw a higher land when i was a younger man when the leaves were dead and gray did i take what i can i never felt a sky like this the clouds white, orange, and red when night has turned into the day turnin’ concrete in your head it’s like i was made for this it’s comin clearer every day the halcyon vow held deep in your kiss i’ll never want it any other way now we’re in that higher land and i don’t know where it began but now that i have found your hand, i’ll hold onto it as long as i can i’ll hold onto it as long as i can

about

chrysalis. the state of change.

as i wrote this album it became clearer and clearer what it was about. this record was written with questions of purpose, realizations about life through love, and introspective personal dialogue. there's been a lot revealed to me this past year. i've been blessed with an incredible relationship, moved states, undergone multiple career changes, and been given many unique creative and personal opportunities. this is all reflected in the concept and lyricism of chrysalis. it's a record that contemplates the past, and if it has to affect the future. it contemplates this resolve brought on by this past year, and questions if it was deserved. it dwells in the comfort of memory and the growth that stems from pain. it's a record about staying positive and unbothered in a world that always tries to keep you down. it's about pushing on, and doing the best with what you have.

it's a personal record. it asks these questions but doesn't place urgency on an answer. it's a record that doesn't take itself too seriously. it's a groovy pop record that still retains the style i've built up over the last seven years.

lotus:
this song was inspired largely by dreamscape anecdotes, deep held within the halls, corridors, and the lands i “wander when my eyes close.” there are some dreams i’ve had since i was a child. exploring those chambers, the atmospheres, reliving those memories, that’s always inspired my music.

“did i care when your favor left? was i so soon to forget the past? was this feeling brought on by need or false equivalency? this incredible resolve, brought on by this new life, this new dawn. was it deserved? was it brought on by deed or by luck?”

figuring out that this is what i needed, hoping life keeps me on this path. feeling comfortable with myself at long last. “so come into my arms, lay your weight on mine, rest and be my light.”

prism:
some musings about my struggles and the struggles i’ve witnessed with addiction and alcoholism. feeling more numb and desensitized day by day as a sign of the times, feeling detached, feeling distant, cold. prism, losing the color, losing the light.

venice:
in 2020 i spent a lot of time in venice, specifically abbot kinney, watched flaked, bought a shitload of aviator nation stuff, yeezys, started goin to the beach. it’s a ridiculous place, and i wanted to pay it a ridiculous tribute. every time i was there it felt like a weird dream, something wouldn’t make sense. i’ve reflected that in the lyrics. this song is one of the first songs i started for chrysalis and one of the last songs i finished. it took a lot to get it right, but that surreal ridiculous feel is finally present in the song.

i’m on my way:
there’s a comfort and solace brought on by being able to rely on someone, and knowing they can rely on you. wanting to give everything to that person and being there for them no matter what, and if that is my calling, i never want to stop it. i want to always be a point of comfort and refuge for the people i love.

chelsea:
a ballad about love, growth from pain, and introspection. an inner monologue brought on by those uncertain disconnected nights, having to hope for the best, wondering what the future brings.

not one lifetime:
this is quite the surrealist song. hearing ill wishes, hearing doom and gloom, and trying not to succumb to those thoughts or take part in that way of thinking, and eventually coming to the conclusion that there’s not another way out. the story is sort of told from a purgatorial viewpoint.

chrysalis:
this song covers a lot of introspective ground. the state of change, pushing on. doing the best with what you have. the idea of time killing all things. time grinding all down to sand, even making you forget your friends faces. things like that can be can be staved off, but time only worsens that feeling. that growth, that strength. the realization that the outcome sometimes lies in what we make of our situation. we’re all growing.

do you see it too?:
when you’re down on your last, beaten back and ready for the end, look ahead to that person, wether it be yourself or someone else, who’s saving you a place at the table. i found that this year. and i realized, “so this is everything i needed, and who i was missin’ all this time, staying by my side.” that’s something i never want to give up.

neverland / voicemails to myself:
these songs illustrate that clarity, that minute of silence after the storm. that relief that whatever you were going through was only temporary. there’s a lot i’ve realized this year, there’s a lot i’ve made this year, and there’s a lot i’ve been given this year. these last two songs are actually the last two songs that were written for this record. written at the end of a very full year. there’s a resolve. a peace. at last, there’s a stillness.

thank you for listening. on to other things.

credits

released January 1, 2022

written, recorded, produced, and performed by samuel kinsella.

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Samuel Kinsella Los Angeles, California

Samuel Kinsella is an Artist, Composer, and Multi-Instrumentalist with a wide range of talents and pursuits from Los Angeles, California. In pursuit of his artistic vision, he has created genre-bending audial universes with every release. With a dark and rhythmic look into thought, existence, and meaning, Samuel releases “Obscura”, his most intricate and challenging work to date. ... more

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